Julia, that’s definitely something I think about all the time. When my wife and I first got married, we didn’t pay much attention to our finances but we did fight about the little things a lot. Now that we both pay attention to our finances more, we no longer fight about it because we know exactly where we have some wiggle room and what really matters. We are also more in-tuned to each other and each others values as far as purchases. Knowing what my wife values and her knowing what I value helps so I can forget about the money and know my wife is getting value out of her purchases. With bigger purchases we discuss them and decide whether or not they are important to our future and if the cost is worth it.

I’m sorry to hear about your marriage and hope the lessons you learned from it, like the one you just shared, can stick with you.

You mentioned the differences between how you spend and how your wife spends. I guess the bigger value choice is whether you value how you spend over the peace in your marriage!

I had a lot a trouble in my marriage with differences in how the two of us spent money. Now that my marriage fell apart, the spending arguments seem small compared to the value of the marriage. Our money disagreements did not cause our break up, but the pressure that we put on each other certainly didn’t help.

I think that we need to see our money as the tool for the good things in life–warm socks, chocolate and a happy spouse.

Thank you for this post.

Julia
Julia´s last blog ..Are You Ready for the Next Mortgage Crisis 2010?

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Funk, you’re absolutely right. I mean, you can’t take it with you right but memories last forever, or at least till we all go senile and forget everything haha

I can’t do the movie thing. I want my kids to experience it so when they are old enough, we will go to a small dollar theater near here, but the 12$ a ticket stuff, they will have to earn their own money for that. I would rather have a bunch of their friends come over and watch movies at the house than be out there anyway. I’m planning to get a projector for our home theater system in about 10 years when they are old enough to enjoy it.

and I’m with you on the infomercials ads though I have been blueprinting an invention and I thought the infomercial crowd would be prime targets to sell to haha

btw give the guy a break!

Me, I freak over expenditures that my husband makes, but am a bit more lenient over my splurges (totally unfair on my husband, I know). lol.

I like to splurge on groceries for a great gathering or spending $ to go to the movies with my kids (although I cringe at movie ticket prices).

You know what urks me? All those stupid infomercial ads! No one needs to spend their money on that stuff!
Money Funk´s last blog ..Have a Frugal Halloween

Exactly. I am one that would buy fancy paintings..I really like frames and they make me happy, the pictures in them are nice too but the frame..those sharp corners and straight lines do something for me.

Another one for me is a hotdog at a ballgame or corndog, really heavily fried at an event..sometimes when there is a fair in town, we will go just for the food even though we know it’s overpriced and we could get the “same” meal at a regular restaurant any time for less money. It’s something about the event that draws me in. I used to work as a carni when I was younger, maybe its just nostalgia.

I’m on board with the music too. I have to hear it first but in many cases it’s worth having.

I’m still learning what mine are and accepting that sometimes I’ll make mistakes. I used to beat myself up a lot if I bought something I thought I’d like and then didn’t end up getting full satisfaction.

I’ve found making quilts more satisfying than making most clothes (except costumes). I’ve found buying DVDs is only worthwhile when it’d be really hard to get ahold of the movie another way or when they’re part of some project I’m working on (like some college classes on writing and film). Music, on the other hand, is almost always worthwhile as long as I’ve listened to it first and know I like it. Even if I get bored, I’ll cycle around to wanting to listen to it again. And buying clothes has little payoff for me unless they’re particularly awesome like my awesome hat.

Have a good trip!
Mrs. Micah´s last blog ..When the Doctor Charges for Unnecessary Tests